I know. I know.

It has been a while. There's really not a whole lot I can say about it that you haven't heard before. My computer is STILL dead, though I tried turning it on with a fan pad under it to keep it cool and it didn't stop working from overheating like the computer guys said, so I'm thinking it is the motherboard like Geek Squad said. I still don't have the money to fix it, or buy a new one, but at least I think I know the problem. My parents were thisclose to buying me a new laptop as my only Christmas present for the next two years, but mom realized that with tax, warranty, and MSOffice it would cost more than they could manage right now. I appreciated the thought and gesture, but it sucked that it didn't happen. I didn't throw a fit and I'm not bitter. Just sad that life is still major suckage.

I just checked and noticed my last post was in July. Since then, I DID have one interview at a school district nearby, but I didn't get the job. I wasn't horrible in the interview, but I definitely showed my nerves a couple of times. So I'm still technically unemployed. I've even applied at non-teaching jobs and haven't gotten calls because I'm too qualified or something. I have friends telling me I shouldn't put that I have a bachelor's degree so that I have a better chance of being called. I just might try that.

I'm substitute teaching again in the meantime, and after a slow start, I've managed to rack up nine days of teaching so far. Three in the district I student taught in, and six in a neighboring district to my town. The neighboring district's sub job is for the high school industrial arts teacher (basically wood shop class) and the first day was interesting. Clearly the kids are used to doing whatever they want (within reason. No one was a major problem for me today) as long as they get their work done in whatever time frame the teacher gives them. It's going to make for a crappy six days though, since he basically left me only enough for the kids to do something every day, but not enough to occupy them the entire HOUR AND A HALF I have every class. Yeah. Hour and a half. Not so bad, but when it's basically a study hall after a while and you have to make sure the kids aren't acting worse than kindergartners, it can get a little tiring. Ah well, it's a paycheck, right?

OH, and my grandpa is coming to live with us again for two months, starting this weekend, so God knows how much that will cut into writing time. He's my grandpa, and I love him, but it's like babysitting a four year old in a man's body and you can't really punish him because he's your grandpa and that's just wrong. So mom and I will be trying to keep each other from the edge and grandpa from wandering off.

GOOD NEWS: I have opened a document and started Chapter 11 of StWOM! :) I have about 600 words of it done so far, and it's taking us into the days leading up to Thanksgiving weekend, which is going to be a big freaking deal when all is said and done! Once I get the next few chapters rolling, things will (hopefully) start to speed up and get to the points I've been waiting to get to for almost two years now. I never thought it would take this long to get the freaking story out and I apologize profusely yet again for dropping the ball. I never meant to take so long updating the story, and I never in my wildest dreams thought it'd be months in between updates. I get bummed when authors do that too, though I understand real life gets in the way like it is for me, and I hate doing that to my readers. Fear not, though, it's coming together piece by piece. My parents are still kind enough to let me use the computer, though between them checking their email and playing their games of choice for hours on end, it's a little tough to get writing time in when the juices are flowing.

OTHER GOOD NEWS (depending on your POV): I am participating in NaNoWriMo this year! I know, you're probably thinking, "Why the hell would she sign up to write 50k words in 30 days when she can't even write 4k in six months?! Especially original fiction?!" Yeah, I thought about that, too. I'm trying not to let the 50k in 30 days bother me too much, I'm just doing it to try my best and knock some of the ideas floating in my head out. There are a few plot bunnies in my head that won't leave, but they don't really work up well as Twi-fiction (or any other fanfiction I've tried writing). I had an idea that I was trying to work up as an Emmett/Bella fic, kinda dark and noir with a twist of Sin City, but it just wasn't working out like I wanted it to. It was an idea I originally kinda started as a Sin City fanfic, but there wasn't too much of Sin City in it besides one character's name, and I can change that out to work for me. The other characters were original and the general feel of the story was Sin City, without really using any of the stories. I have a lot of it mapped out in my head, so we'll see if I can make a go of it as an original.

Another idea I had sorta started out as a celebrity fanfic (NO, not about Rob, but I won't tell you whom, either) but a couple of name changes and maybe habit changes and I could DEFINITELY use it, since a fair bit of it was already mapped out in my head anyway.

Clearly all I can manage to write is fanfic of some sort, but I suppose I need a springboard to get somewhere somehow, so it's not so bad. Like I said, there's not much to change in those two ideas as it is, so it's not a huge leap. What's my biggest lesson I've learned since I started writing, though? MOTHERFUCKING OUTLINE THE STORY FIRST. BIG lesson, right there.

Let me tell you a story: There once was a girl, we'll call her CeCe (it's a variation on my name). She loved to write and wrote all the time in middle school and high school. She loved it so much, she wrote in her classes, pretending to take notes when she was really writing love scenes and epic fights of great defense. She had a great passion for her writing and often felt she was the female protagonist in every story, which made for great writing because she could translate the feelings she would feel on paper and make a great story. It all just happened for her and she never needed to outline. She would write out the major scenes in a story and then connect them together in a wonderful tapestry.

Now flash to ten years after high school. CeCe has lived life, gone to college and graduated, experienced things she wanted to try, and didn't experience things she so desperately wanted and thought she would by that point in her life. She'd grown a lot more critical and cynical and depressed about life, and when she tried to have a passion for something, something or someone would come along and kill it by criticizing her for it or showing how much better they were at it than she. She certainly wasn't living the life she'd expected to live ten years after high school, a fact that depressed her further. She no longer could put herself into her character's POVs and feel what needed to be felt to get through a scene. Her thoughts would scatter easily and she would lose important elements and then become frustrated and disappointed when scenes didn't work out like she wanted.

Lesson: Your mind won't always stay the same, so you can't keep the same habits forever. So now I'll outline so I can stay true to the story and not feel like I'm putting inferior trash out there.

ANYWAY, after that long ass post, I think that'll do. Yeah, I'm still knitting, mainly socks, though I've been eyeing some fingerless mitts for the upcoming winter. We'll see.

Hopefully I'll post again sooner rather than later and I'll have awesome news about the next chapter(s) of StWOM! :) I hope you're all doing well!