I know. I know.

It has been a while. There's really not a whole lot I can say about it that you haven't heard before. My computer is STILL dead, though I tried turning it on with a fan pad under it to keep it cool and it didn't stop working from overheating like the computer guys said, so I'm thinking it is the motherboard like Geek Squad said. I still don't have the money to fix it, or buy a new one, but at least I think I know the problem. My parents were thisclose to buying me a new laptop as my only Christmas present for the next two years, but mom realized that with tax, warranty, and MSOffice it would cost more than they could manage right now. I appreciated the thought and gesture, but it sucked that it didn't happen. I didn't throw a fit and I'm not bitter. Just sad that life is still major suckage.

I just checked and noticed my last post was in July. Since then, I DID have one interview at a school district nearby, but I didn't get the job. I wasn't horrible in the interview, but I definitely showed my nerves a couple of times. So I'm still technically unemployed. I've even applied at non-teaching jobs and haven't gotten calls because I'm too qualified or something. I have friends telling me I shouldn't put that I have a bachelor's degree so that I have a better chance of being called. I just might try that.

I'm substitute teaching again in the meantime, and after a slow start, I've managed to rack up nine days of teaching so far. Three in the district I student taught in, and six in a neighboring district to my town. The neighboring district's sub job is for the high school industrial arts teacher (basically wood shop class) and the first day was interesting. Clearly the kids are used to doing whatever they want (within reason. No one was a major problem for me today) as long as they get their work done in whatever time frame the teacher gives them. It's going to make for a crappy six days though, since he basically left me only enough for the kids to do something every day, but not enough to occupy them the entire HOUR AND A HALF I have every class. Yeah. Hour and a half. Not so bad, but when it's basically a study hall after a while and you have to make sure the kids aren't acting worse than kindergartners, it can get a little tiring. Ah well, it's a paycheck, right?

OH, and my grandpa is coming to live with us again for two months, starting this weekend, so God knows how much that will cut into writing time. He's my grandpa, and I love him, but it's like babysitting a four year old in a man's body and you can't really punish him because he's your grandpa and that's just wrong. So mom and I will be trying to keep each other from the edge and grandpa from wandering off.

GOOD NEWS: I have opened a document and started Chapter 11 of StWOM! :) I have about 600 words of it done so far, and it's taking us into the days leading up to Thanksgiving weekend, which is going to be a big freaking deal when all is said and done! Once I get the next few chapters rolling, things will (hopefully) start to speed up and get to the points I've been waiting to get to for almost two years now. I never thought it would take this long to get the freaking story out and I apologize profusely yet again for dropping the ball. I never meant to take so long updating the story, and I never in my wildest dreams thought it'd be months in between updates. I get bummed when authors do that too, though I understand real life gets in the way like it is for me, and I hate doing that to my readers. Fear not, though, it's coming together piece by piece. My parents are still kind enough to let me use the computer, though between them checking their email and playing their games of choice for hours on end, it's a little tough to get writing time in when the juices are flowing.

OTHER GOOD NEWS (depending on your POV): I am participating in NaNoWriMo this year! I know, you're probably thinking, "Why the hell would she sign up to write 50k words in 30 days when she can't even write 4k in six months?! Especially original fiction?!" Yeah, I thought about that, too. I'm trying not to let the 50k in 30 days bother me too much, I'm just doing it to try my best and knock some of the ideas floating in my head out. There are a few plot bunnies in my head that won't leave, but they don't really work up well as Twi-fiction (or any other fanfiction I've tried writing). I had an idea that I was trying to work up as an Emmett/Bella fic, kinda dark and noir with a twist of Sin City, but it just wasn't working out like I wanted it to. It was an idea I originally kinda started as a Sin City fanfic, but there wasn't too much of Sin City in it besides one character's name, and I can change that out to work for me. The other characters were original and the general feel of the story was Sin City, without really using any of the stories. I have a lot of it mapped out in my head, so we'll see if I can make a go of it as an original.

Another idea I had sorta started out as a celebrity fanfic (NO, not about Rob, but I won't tell you whom, either) but a couple of name changes and maybe habit changes and I could DEFINITELY use it, since a fair bit of it was already mapped out in my head anyway.

Clearly all I can manage to write is fanfic of some sort, but I suppose I need a springboard to get somewhere somehow, so it's not so bad. Like I said, there's not much to change in those two ideas as it is, so it's not a huge leap. What's my biggest lesson I've learned since I started writing, though? MOTHERFUCKING OUTLINE THE STORY FIRST. BIG lesson, right there.

Let me tell you a story: There once was a girl, we'll call her CeCe (it's a variation on my name). She loved to write and wrote all the time in middle school and high school. She loved it so much, she wrote in her classes, pretending to take notes when she was really writing love scenes and epic fights of great defense. She had a great passion for her writing and often felt she was the female protagonist in every story, which made for great writing because she could translate the feelings she would feel on paper and make a great story. It all just happened for her and she never needed to outline. She would write out the major scenes in a story and then connect them together in a wonderful tapestry.

Now flash to ten years after high school. CeCe has lived life, gone to college and graduated, experienced things she wanted to try, and didn't experience things she so desperately wanted and thought she would by that point in her life. She'd grown a lot more critical and cynical and depressed about life, and when she tried to have a passion for something, something or someone would come along and kill it by criticizing her for it or showing how much better they were at it than she. She certainly wasn't living the life she'd expected to live ten years after high school, a fact that depressed her further. She no longer could put herself into her character's POVs and feel what needed to be felt to get through a scene. Her thoughts would scatter easily and she would lose important elements and then become frustrated and disappointed when scenes didn't work out like she wanted.

Lesson: Your mind won't always stay the same, so you can't keep the same habits forever. So now I'll outline so I can stay true to the story and not feel like I'm putting inferior trash out there.

ANYWAY, after that long ass post, I think that'll do. Yeah, I'm still knitting, mainly socks, though I've been eyeing some fingerless mitts for the upcoming winter. We'll see.

Hopefully I'll post again sooner rather than later and I'll have awesome news about the next chapter(s) of StWOM! :) I hope you're all doing well!

Quick Update

Fuckers at the computer shop haven't fixed my computer yet. The first guy who I talked to about the problem and told me he fixed it never ordered the part and no one knew. I called last week about it and another guy told me the first guy didn't even write down what he was going to do to fix it and never told anyone to order the part. So now I have to wait like and extra week or two before getting it back. I am SO pissed right now.

On the bright side, I have a nice general outline for the next three chapters of Someone to Watch Over Me. I know what's going to happen in all three, I just need to get rough drafts written and some details worked out so that I can get them beta'd and posted. I thank you guys for being so patient with me on this whole thing and I hope to have my computer back soon so I can get them written before I lose anything and change my mind on things in the story. Lol.

To make matters worse on the writing front, I COULD have written something for today and saved it to my USB drive, but since my parents' only had the trial version of Microsoft Office 2007 on their computer and it expired recently, I was totally fucked. They're out right now purchasing the key code to upgrade to the full version of MSOffice 2010, so maybe when I can get another day like this on the computer (assuming I don't get my computer back first) I can try to write something.

On the job front I haven't heard anything. Good side: no rejection emails. Bad side: Still no calls for interviews, despite friends of mine in the same field and on the same level as me getting interviews. I've sent out a crapton of applications, both online and hard copy, so I'm hoping next month will be busy for me on the job front. As I type this I have filled out three applications online today alone, as well as getting four hard copies ready to mail out tomorrow for schools in Ohio alone. The whole MSOffice issue hindered me as well, since I couldn't edit my cover letters to tailor them for each school I was applying to, and I don't feel comfortable sending out the generic one I attach to my online applications. I couldn't even type them out individually with the correct information as it wouldn't let me do anything but open previously saved documents and print them. I couldn't edit them, I couldn't even type a new document. ARG.

Pray for me, if any of you are the praying type. Or wish good luck for me or something. If I don't hear anything from anyone by August I am going to be one pissed off person. My back-up plan is to sub for another year in my county and find a part time evening job, but I don't want to resort to that. If I don't have a real teaching job, that screws up my licensure after next June and I don't want to piss around with that.

::GIANT HUGS:: to you all, thanks so much for putting up with me. :)

(Oh yeah, I catered a graduation party with my dad this past weekend, and I had to hand make 200 fucking cannoli for this spoiled brat. Only about 50 got eaten and I was a little upset about it, but I did get paid $200 for all the work for it. Part of that is going on the debt I owe my parents, the rest on my computer repair fees. Woo! No stealing from my last sub paycheck!)

Chapter 10 Teaser!

Okay! To prove to you guys that I've actually been working on chapter 10 of Someone to Watch Over Me, I bring you this teaser:
“Lalalala, I can’t hear you talking about my best friend’s sex life, lalala,” I chanted, watching her fight not to smile at my behavior. While I considered Carlie a friend as a result of being Jake’s girlfriend, I did not think we were close enough for us to be comfortable sharing the intimate details of their relationship. Even though I wasn’t much more comfortable hearing Jake say anything about his and Carlie’s sex life, it didn’t feel as awkward. He also only made comments about it to annoy me, but never got into any gory details.

Carlie pulled my hands away from my ears, and I looked at her warily, arms at the ready to react if she insisted on telling me what I didn’t want to hear. “I’m just saying, we’ve never gone that long without before and if he’s not… you know… with me, then he must be getting it somewhere else.”

I tried not to cringe at the thought of Jake doing… you know… with anyone, especially not Carlie. “Ok, Carlie. Let me just say something. I know it probably doesn’t help much, but I’ve known Jake since we were kids, like, little kids. I know that he doesn’t get involved in anything unless he really cares, and I know he’s dated girls before. I can honestly tell you that you are the woman for him. I have never seen him treat another girl as well as he’s treated you, never cared so much for someone as I’ve seen him care about you. He wouldn’t fuck this up over some random chick and sideline sexy times. I honestly believe that whatever he is doing that is taking time away from your relationship is nothing as heinous or devious as you’re thinking. I’m sure he has his reasons for whatever and things will go back to normal very soon. Just trust Jake.”

“I do trust him,” she said, slumping onto the counter. “I trust him with my life, and I love him. I don’t know why I’m being so silly and thinking that whatever the hell he’s doing has to somehow be the worst-case scenario. Drama queen much, Carlie?”

I chuckled. “Don’t worry. I know it’s gotta be tough to have a great relationship and then something changes, and you can’t help but fear the worst. Just trust your gut about Jake. Is it telling you he’d do something like that?”

She shook her head. “No. I overreacted. I’m so sorry to have come here and bothered you about it, Bella.” She looked abashed. “I feel really stupid.”

Yep. That's part of Chapter 10! Yay! There's still some work to go on it, but it's coming along nicely. Since my grandfather is visiting this week to give my aunt a break, that means my mother is bothering me even more and hiding out in my room, so that makes it more difficult to get in "the zone". I'd hoped to have it done in time to let everyone know about my participation in the Support Stacie Auction to see if I could get bids, but it was not to be because of the aforementioned circumstances.

Speaking of Support Stacie, the April Author's Auction is now closed! Thanks to everyone who bid, and congratulations to my good buddy TabithaAbraham/knit1purr2 for being the winning bidder! She was bidding to get the next chapter of StWOM, but I talked her into considering something else, since I have the chapter mostly done and don't want her to waste her money on something like that. Once the details are banged out, I'll let you guys know what's up!

Happy reading!

Happy Holidays!

I hope everyone had a lovely holiday! Mine was pretty decent; I got all of the knitting stuff I asked for, so I'm pretty excited about it. :)

Writing-wise? I'm trying to come up with some stuff, and trying to visualize some StWOM stuff, because that's how I roll. I try to live it out in my mind so I can feel it more, so... yeah. Weird, I know. I'm also thinking about a one-shot to clear the head, something a little more... tragic, no fluff whatsoever, I just need to work that one out, too. It's based on a song, but no clues, cause I don't want to ruin it.

As for WitFit, I haven't given that up, I just haven't gotten updates for the past few days and I think I'm over-thinking the prompts I do have. I also signed up to do the January WitFit, and I'm hoping to be better about those than I have this month. Oy. I tried, but I apparently have a giant issue with commitment. That explains a lot, eh? hahaaa!

And maybe an original fic idea, but it's completely sci-fi related and I have no idea if I can pull it off. Basically I had this thought the other day about how Earth (supposedly) is the only planet that has life on it in this galaxy, but what if that wasn't so? Like, what if other planets did before, like we're cycling through planets and evolving, and... holy cow. I'll end up confusing myself and I can't quite explain what I mean here. Sci-fi isn't my forte, but I'd still like to give it a shot. WAAAAY later, though, very much later. lol.

Anyway, that's about it for now. I know I should have more to say, but napping has completely shot my thought processes right now. :) What kinds of things did you get for Christmas? Was it what you wanted?

Lame

So last night I got a wild hair in my ass to try to at least START chapter 11 of StWOM. But as soon as I opened my Start menu to open a Word Doc, I felt some sort of crippling fear or something. Point? I didn't open the Word Doc, felt really shitty about it, and then ended up crying on my bed from a combination of that plus my parents being really shitty about the cleanliness of my room. It's still a sore subject for us, and it's the elephant in the room right now, but I wanted to post before I forgot.

Maybe that inspiration will come back later. I still have to finish my cooperating teacher's socks I was making her as a thank you gift because I wanted to give them to her tomorrow before she goes on holiday break and I forget to give them to her at all.

So, while I'm trying to avoid vacuuming, I'm reading Ragweeds by AngelAtTwilight on FFn. Edward and Bella end up in the foster system because of family failure. Edward comes from a shit family with plenty of abuse, and Bella comes from a privileged single parent home. It's only six chapters in so far, but it's a great start. The feelings and thoughts come across nicely from two children who have lost everything and have to survive in a shitty system. READ IT.

Anyway, that's it for now. I might post later, depending on whether WWIII breaks out over my room or not. :)

-KV7

Welcome!

Hello, dear readers! I'm jumping on the bandwagon like everyone else and starting a blog. Maybe this can help me help you keep up with whether or not I'm still alive and plan on updating Someone to Watch Over Me or any other fics I'm working on!

A head's up: yeah, there will be foul language on here, as well as bad grammar and the occasional bad spelling. There will be coherent posts as well as ramblings for ideas that come up and need to be worked out. There might even be mature content like smut or something. Who knows?Why don't I just do it in a Word Doc or something? Cause I want feedback from you guys so I know that I'm not completely fucking the whole thing up. I appreciate honesty if you do leave comments, and my frail effed up ego will get over it. Eventually. :D

As it stands, I am NOT putting StWOM on hiatus or anything of the sort. I know some of you wonder when I take five months to update if I've given up or something, but fear not; I have no plans to abandon this story, no matter how much it frustrates or seems like total shit to me. I know how I want the end to go, you all know pretty much how it ends, and I really want to give that to you. The journey, however, isn't going like I thought, so it takes me time to come up with things along the way that sound plausible and realistic, and that also stay true to the story. I've learned my lesson and know better than to write a new story without some sort of outline to get me from beginning to end with some guidance along the way. Trying to write out ideas from memory, in order, and then not bug the shit out of my fic buddies and beta for validation all the time is NOT conducive to my writing and makes me feel even worse for doing it. So, there's a lesson there, kids. OUTLINE BEFORE YOU WRITE.

Also, I plan on posting pictures here of the house I used as the basic model for Bella's house in StWOM. I used my grandparents house, and I hope to get better pictures than the ones I already have. Some rooms have clothes all over, or suitcases from when we visited, and I don't want to give you that. So, if you're following keep checking and I'll have these up. The link to the blog will be posted in my FFn account if you check there for info.

In the Days of Auld Lang Syne: Bonafide Rarity? I'm not saying it's on hiatus, either, but it will definitely be slower to update than StWOM. It takes a lot of time to read all of my homegirls' chapters to line everything up in the ItDoALS world and I just need to get my ass on it and do it. Most of the other POVs are light years ahead of me in terms of chapters and events, and I need to catch up. That is a huge and daunting task for me, and I'm kicking myself everyday for not keeping up when we all started it back in the day. I really hope to continue it, but I'm sorry to say that this fic will suffer the most when it comes to my attention to updating.

Will I have other stories to write eventually? Uh, yes. My head is too full of ideas to NOT write SOMETHING, and as I stated earlier, I'll have an outline so I'm not bumbling around like a teenage Edward trying to get to first base with Bella or some shit. I might post teasers or thoughts on those as they come up. Again, feedback would be wonderful and the empty place where my heart should be would be all warm and fuzzy.

I think I've said all that needs to be said for now. Welcome to the crazy train, I hope you enjoy the ride!

- KV7